The Second Time Around

As it turns out, being a second time mom is amazingly easier than a first time one.
I sort of love it.
And boy do I love him.

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I don’t mean to brag, but I think I might have the sweetest baby ever. Not only is he adorable, he never cries. He snores, he clicks, he waves his arms around when he’s hungry — but only lets out a yelp when he gets a particularly cold diaper change. He has stolen my heart!

Anyway, some observations from a second time mom:

  • Nursing is way easier. And almost enjoyable. I didn’t like it at all the first time, but now it feels way more natural and sweet.
  • The changes to your body freak you out way less. The first time you see a sagging stomach, or those stretch marks, or have leaking breasts, or feel like all of your organs are going to fall out when you stand up or sneeze or use the bathroom — it’s terrifying. I remember bawling my eyes out taking a bath, just sure that I would never be the same again. This time, I’m like — no big deal! It’ll change. It’ll get better. I will feel normal again. So what that I’m leaking and feel like a milk machine? It’s temporary and it’s worth it.
  • The newborn stage is way more precious. Every time I wake up in the middle of the night I have to gaze at my handsome boy and smother him in kisses. I know how short this time is and I want to appreciate it.
  • The mess is a lot less stressful. I remember being so afraid that Parker would spit up or poop on things. I would have little meltdowns every time I had to have a wardrobe change or add more to that pile of laundry. This time? It is what it is. Babies are messy and it’s my job to clean up after them. No big deal.
  • It’s easier to take “me” time. I’m really bad at asking for help. This time, if someone offers I’m like “heck yes!” Even if it’s just asking Brian to watch Nolan while I get a bath or read a chapter, I’m more willing to do it because I know it will make all the difference in my sanity. No one is expecting me to raise this child by myself. Accept the help and learn to ask for it.
  • I never want to put Nolan down. I remember thinking it was boring to hold a baby all day. Now I relish every chance I get to hold him — those quiet moments when I can just gaze at my baby are rare so I really appreciate them a lot more.
  • Watching Parker interact with Nolan makes me so happy. Indescribably so. Parker is definitely pushing my buttons with all the changes he’s going through, but he is so sweet to his brother. It makes me a very proud mama.

That’s it for now, but I am less than two weeks into this gig.
I know there will be so much more to learn.
Any tips from moms who have “been there, done that”?

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3 thoughts on “The Second Time Around

  1. This is definitely encouraging as I am absolutely terrified (and that might be putting it lightly) of having another child. Some days it seems more doable than others (like after reading your post, or seeing sweet sibling interactions), but some days. . . when the temper tantrums, and the messes, and the defiance. . . ooooh, those days I want to hand over my one child! I’m so glad you are enjoying this sweet phase with Nolan (and sharing what you’re learning) – he is just perfect and we can’t wait to meet him!

  2. One great thing about having an older sibling, even if they’re still fairly young, is that they love to help mama take care of the baby. When Sonya was 2 1/2 and Katya was a newborn, Sonya would love to run and fetch clean diapers, stand ready to pull out a fresh wipe or hand over a clean onesie, or even run and find where mommy left the boppy because baby was hungry again. It was amazing to see them bond at such young ages, and Katya still gazes adoringly at her big sister even two years later. Plus, getting to sit for an extra minute while big sister “helped out” was a nice bonus and I credit her for my fast recovery!

  3. I’d just add that the 2nd one grows up way faster than the first did. He will suddenly be six months old and you won’t know how. Mine are only 16 months apart, so I had the added challenge of teaching Joey what gentle means, and he really didn’t know how to help yet. But all those things you’ve written are completely true. Treasure this time – it will feel like 2 months and you’ll be celebrating his 1st birthday!

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