I sometimes look back at the last year and wonder how I survived it. The emotional pain was so acute at points that it physically hurt to exist. Jesus held me. My friends walked beside me. I managed to find beauty and joy in little things around me. Somehow I made it off of death row, past the execution, and towards a new life.
But starting over is not for the weak. Not only had my entire life been annihilated without my consent in one quick blow, I realized I’d lost a lot of myself in bits and pieces for years and years. I barely recognized the person in the mirror– and I certainly had no idea how she’d pick herself up and create a viable life for her kids.
It might sound extreme to say that Shaklee saved my life, but in many ways it did. I had used the products for nearly seven years. I’d referred a handful of people to my friend Harper during that time. I’d even thought about starting a business about four years ago, but thought: “I could never do that. I’m not a sales person.” But nevertheless I believed in the products, trusted the company, and saw my friend’s businesses thriving. Somewhere in my post-marriage lostness I managed to muster up the courage to ask Harper, “Do you think I’d be any good at this?” Little did I know she’d been trying to figure out how to tell me she absolutely did and thought it would be a huge help to my growing financial needs.
So I started. It was the first decision I’d made by myself in a decade. I didn’t ask anyone (other than the Lord) and decided to go all in. Within a week I felt different. I felt brave. I felt purpose. I felt worthwhile. Things I hadn’t felt in a very long time. I looked at myself and found a piece of a girl I used to know. Someone who wasn’t afraid to do hard things, someone who was smart and ambitious and had something to offer.
In two months I reached my first big goal. It was a lot of work but I did it. And with each fear I overcame and each person I connected with I felt more and more like I’d found my passion. Like I’d found myself. Buried under years of self-doubt, hurt, and a mountain of lies I found me. Jesus is absolutely the core of my being and author of all meaning. And yet he absolutely uses events and people (and even businesses) to grow us into who we were meant to be. And in that way, Shaklee saved my life.
I still struggle with self-doubt (a lot, if I’m honest) but I also see proof everyday that I can do this. It’s a scary, beautiful, and radical thing to find your passion. For me it’s helping others feel better and coming alongside them to start their own businesses. Shaklee allows me to do that and empowers me every step of the way. And in turn, I’m discovering who I am and becoming who I want to be.