Some people know what they want to do and who they want to be practically from birth. It’s easy for them to find things to be passionate about and want to pursue. I am not one of those people.
The whole, “what do you want to be when you grow up” question has stressed me out for decades. There have been a few unchanging desires since childhood (wanting to grow up and have a family of my own, wanting to be a part of the Church, etc.) but I never felt like I knew what my “thing” was. You know, the thing that everyone else can see from a mile away and can’t quite understand your passion over but see that it’s totally and completely you? My “thing” has been elusive.
I remember when I graduated from college I was terrified to apply for jobs. My closest friend at the time sat down with me and tried to help me think of options and had tons of good questions to get me started. The answer to all of them was, “I don’t know” or “I don’t like that.” One night when we were newlyweds Brian and I stayed up late trying to think of things that I could try or pursue. Nothing. I just didn’t know.
When I had all the time in the world and very little stress and a little bit more money I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what I should be doing. But after three children and having a single-income household and no time to spare? My “thing” smacks me in the face and yells, “here I am!” And wouldn’t you know it? My thing is cooking.
So as you know I started culinary school and a cooking/teaching business. All my years of searching and wondering and feeling like I didn’t know what my goal or purpose was in this world — they are over and long gone. The funny thing is, now that I have my singular passion, I’m finding other things more interesting too. Exercise and me have been mortal enemies since grade school and yet I’m finding my groove and falling in love with Yoga. And that’s just one thing. Everything has changed for me by finding my one thing.
So I hope you don’t stop searching if you haven’t found your thing yet. It might take a long time but it’s worth waiting for. And if you have found your thing, don’t give up on it just because it’s a bad time in your life or it seems impossible. Your season of life is definitely a factor in how hard you can pursue it, but it doesn’t have to die just because your focus is somewhere else for a time. What’s your thing?