Since January 1 I’ve been keeping one of those “one line a day” journals that end up covering a 5 year period. Sometimes it’s more like “fill in a weeks worth of lines in an evening” but I still try to get the job done. Maybe in 5 years my life will be more organized and I’ll simply fill in my line each morning with a leisurely cup of coffee. But that’s not today.
The whole project has got me thinking though. I wonder what kind of entries I’ll be making in five years. Will I look back at my “so tired today,” “the kids were bickering all day,” and “finally had a #2 success with N” posts and barely recognize myself? Will diapers and early mornings and being constantly touched and tackled by three little monsters be a distant memory? What new challenges and joys will rise up to take their place? I’ve been in “the little” stage for so long it’s nearly impossible to imagine five years from now me.
Keeping one eye ahead on the lookout for what’s to come gives me a whole new appreciation for today. Whatever trials and whatever joys are in my one line for today are temporary. The trials will pass soon, so best not fret about them.
And the joys? They’ll be gone too. Sweet baby thigh rolls, giggles over silly words, my 5-year old snuggling with me and telling me he loves me, my 3-year old mastering a new skill and smiling his sweet dimpled smile — these too will be gone before I know it. My sweet baby girl will one day be cuddling a baby of her own and I’ll be in a quiet and organized house with nothing but time and space for myself. So I need to eat up each moment. Each second that I’m needed and demanded is a precious one. One that won’t last forever.
So even though life as I currently know it is chaotic and annoying and loud and demanding — it’s also precious and fulfilling and full of laughter. I hope when I look back in five years I can say that I savored those years. Those little years. I’d hate for them to pass and waste them away longing to be anywhere else and find that I’d missed them completely. Wouldn’t you?